I’m the definition of self-sabotage

I’m going through a tough time. Although I re-started my weight loss journey just few weeks ago with videos, photos and weekly updates, it is not going as planned. Why? Because I keep sabotaging myself.

According to google: Behavior is said to be self-sabotaging when it creates problems and interferes with long-standing goals. The most common self-sabotaging behaviors are procrastination and comfort eating.self-sabotage-button

And that is exactly what I’ve been doing.

After my first week back to Weight Watchers where I lost around 1.5Kg, I LOST my way. I lost the motivation and for the past two weeks I’m finding extremely difficult to eat healthy, to stay away from chocolate and to find motivation to exercise.  I’m not sure what is happening.

My routine recently changed when I moved in with my boyfriend but If I was really committed to this process that wouldn’t have impacted my journey as much. I’ve been living with my boyfriend for the last 4 weeks, and although my routine did change a lot, it’s not his fault. It is purely mine.

I follow many weight loss journeys channels in YouTube and I always wonder how they keep motivated. What was that defining moment when another “I will start on Monday” actually became the moment when everything changed. I thought that moment was a year ago, but it was not. Then I though that moment was last 30 of December, but it was not. Then I thought it was Wednesday 4 weeks ago but again, it wasn’t.

Take today as an example. I was feeling very upset about my current lack of motivation, the things I ate during the weekend and despite feeling like shit, I still bought a danish (sweet pastry) on my way home from the supermarket and ate it all in front of the TV while thinking about writing this post. Other things I think when I’m about to sabotage my weight loss journey are:

  • “I went to the gym three times this week so I’ve earned my portion of fries.”
  • “I eat healthy for the last three days so I can splurge now.”
  • “A couple of bites won’t derail my plan.”
  • “That packet of cookies is only 100 calories, so I won’t ruin my diet.”

Why? Why? Why? It’s in times like this that I think that maybe I do not want to lose weight, or maybe my desire of eating as much as I want is stronger than my desire to be healthy and be able to wear those amazing outfits that I see all over instagram!

I know everything is up to me. I’m the only one who can take this process seriously and who can change the routine, the body and the habits. I wish there was a secret switch in my body that can be turned on when I want to commit to something and remain committed after the excitement of starting a new challenge wears off.

 I’m the only one guilty here and I just need to get my shit together and start again.


To know more about my weight loss journey visit my youtube channel: Mai’s Journey


Posted by

A Colombo-Australian woman living in Melbourne. I love books and pugs! You too? Let's be cyber-friends! I also have a YouTube channel in case you want to know more about me.

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